As a new parent, you’ve likely heard all sorts of advice about sleep training. From books to social media, it can feel like everyone has an opinion. But here’s the truth: sleep training as we traditionally think of it—letting your baby “cry it out,” encouraging them to “self-soothe,” or putting them on a strict schedule—does not work for newborns.
Why Newborns Can’t Self-Soothe
Newborns are not capable of self-soothing. At this stage, they rely entirely on co-regulation from a parent or caregiver to manage their emotions and nervous system. Crying, fussing, or reaching for comfort is their only way to communicate needs and regulate themselves.
Even by 6 months, what may look like “self-soothing” is really a learned skill built on repeated experiences of responsive care. Babies may start using behaviors like sucking on their hands, turning their head away, or gazing at a familiar object to calm down—but these behaviors develop because caregivers have consistently responded to their needs. True independent emotional regulation doesn’t even begin to develop until toddlerhood or preschool (around ages 3–5).
Healthy Sleep Habits You Can Implement Instead
While strict sleep training isn’t appropriate for newborns, there are simple, healthy habits you can start early to support your baby’s sleep development:
1. Be Mindful of Awake Windows
Newborns have short wake windows—typically 45–60 minutes. After this time, your baby is ready for a nap. As your baby grows, these windows gradually lengthen. Watching for sleepy cues is key to helping your baby settle easily.
2. Create a Consistent Sleep Environment
- Keep the sleep space dark, quiet, and at a comfortable temperature.
- White noise can help mask household sounds and provide a consistent background.
3. Establish Gentle Routines
- Simple routines—like a warm bath, dimming the lights, reading a book, rocking, or a quiet lullaby—can signal that sleep is coming.
- Consistency helps your baby’s brain start associating these cues with rest. Aim for a consistent ” bed time” ( a one hour time frame of flexibility)
4. Prioritize Safe Sleep
- Always place your baby on their back to sleep on a firm surface designed for infant sleep, with no loose bedding or soft items.
- Room-sharing for the first 6–12 months is recommended for safety and ease of nighttime care.
5. Respond, Don’t Ignore
- Newborns need reassurance and comfort. Attending to your baby builds trust and helps regulate their nervous system—supporting the foundation for sleep and emotional regulation later.
Important: Pushing your baby to sleep for long stretches too early or dropping nighttime feedings prematurely can negatively impact milk supply, especially for breastfeeding mothers. Frequent night feeds are not just about nutrition—they also help maintain supply and support your baby’s growth. Ignoring these cues can lead to frustration for both parent and baby and may make sleep and feeding more challenging in the long run.
Looking Ahead
While newborns can’t be “sleep trained,” establishing healthy habits early sets the stage for better sleep as your baby grows. Every baby is different, so responsiveness, patience, and gentle routines are far more important than any strict schedule at this stage.
💛 Pro Tip: If you want more guidance and strategies for newborn sleep, our Newborn & Postpartum Care class covers everything from feeding and sleep cues to postpartum recovery—helping you feel confident and supported in those first weeks.